I found a pair of size 15 female undies on my floor?? is that big?
She was walking with the authority that 2 beers gave to a light weight.
You were so high at Ikea last night that you were convinced you could speak Swedish. The whole the time you were our navigator and when we got to the cashier you were hitting on the lady. When she gave you her number you told her you were saving her number as Inglfurfta cuaue she must be swedish since she works there.
no memory loss, but i'm unhappy with my memories
Packing up everything in the dorm. Silly bands to unused condom ratio is ridiculous.
He just kept yelling "body massage machine go" at random intervals throughout the night
Who was the person who brought the rooster when they won @ beer pong
And really all I wanted was to be like "hey can I borrow your dick for a few hours this weekend?"
Fell asleep in the library, woke up because I almost let out a sleep fart. That was close.
Do you ever actually plan things? Or is it always drugs then whatever happens? I'm considering being worried about you
But the sex is so much better when he already has a girlfriend
I'm gonna write a book. Almost Awesome: all the times I ALMOST got laid.
its weird getting into a political debate with a pony dressed as an anime character online
I just want to smoke weed and be the little spoon all winter. My modern day hibernation.
And it only took a fake engagement ring, a condom and a bowl of weed
Randomize
