4:12a: just got back to his place now. I don't want to talk about it
im so horny i just used my electric toothbrush to masturbate. god help me
he texted me telling him i gave him the clap. but i think he gave it to me and i gave it back to him
I hate girls that dress up to come to planned parenthood. I just want to be like we are all in the same boat here, we know your slutty. Its OK.
i think it would be like really awesome if scientist could genetically engineer manatees to be like the size of goldfish so i could have one in my fishbowl and be like FUCK YEAH TINY MANATEE
I'm going to email her once I get off the bathroom floor
so, what part of "he's slept with a guy" do you not understand?
Ask if he wants his tooth back. It's in the freezer. In the box of hotpockets.
It's now 8:05 on a Wednesday night and I'm already going home with my bra in my purse.
Got serenaded to on the streets of Denver...the song was about a young banana that made really big decisions, got stds, and joined a gang. I think I like Colorado
You're 34. You can't make guys wait till the third date anymore. Step it up!
my biography would be titled "haunting truths and dick jokes: a tale of love, loss, and masturbation."
I just saw a guy in a hazmat suit riding a tractor.
You got naked in his car? Or the koala suit was in his car? One of those sounds a lot less slutty than the other......
We stood outside the room listening to them have sex and making meow noises
That's not right, is it?
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