i now understand why he chose to have sex with my friend rather then me after lookin in the mirror this morning. and id do the same thing.
Flying to Orlando on the 7th is cheaper than the 8th by like three margaritas.
My professor just suggested making the state of the union more interesting by turning it into a drinking game. Brilliant!!
i just googled the alphabet. i couldnt remember if it was jklomnop or jklmnop.
Working out to an exercise video on OnDemand. Also, drinking beer and eating cream cheese with a side of bagel in between stretches.
Do you ever wonder how many people have prayed for you to be a better person?
He slow fucked me. Doggy style. On a porch. You never slow fuck doggy style. Its a law. A LAW.
Just got attacked by a family of raccoons, I have the worst luck.
The bald eagles cry cause u drink canadian beer.
Was so drunk I had to masturbate face up cuz I thought I was gonna be suffocated by the pillows.
is one penis in the hand worth one better nicer penis in the manscaped bush?
This is a whole new generation of premature ejaculators
Apparently hitting a bong with your mouth half numb is hilarious but frustrating!
Want to do me the honour of waxing my legs again before I go to Mexico? I feel like it's a tradition we shouldn't break.
there were rolls with just one bite out of each one leading to the bedroom. you were laying on the bed naked and yelled 'you did it you followed the bread crumbs!'
Randomize
