did you get engaged???
Update, blind date is cute and fun.
Scratch that, blind date just threw up.
Dude, it's gettin so bad even my fantasies just wanna be friends.
somehow I got talked into dressing up like a hot dog, spinning around ten times, and shooting lay ups in front of thousands of students
Nada. Shooting off confetti and wanted to see I'd u could see it from ur house.
Wow. Its not even 11am.
You insisted that you sleep on the bear rug instead of the couch. You said it was lonely and you kept on petting its head.
Also I'm 95 percent positive we ate food naked together
Spending my graduation money on an abortion. Welcome to the real world.
don't mind me. just hanging out in this cool air conditioned Babies R Us until the liquor store next door opens.
I should not be so motivated by a penis, but I am
i just looked at those "hey" messages and i was so confused and then i remembered we were practicing texting with our tongues.
Have a booty call at 3am, stopped for tacos at 2:30. It's 2:55 and I still haven't ordered but can't jump the curb to get out of line because there is a cop in front of me. What am I doing with my life?
I just had a 10 minute staring contest with my dog. Can you come over?
We are best friends because we can vomit simultaneously in the same toilet and not care
The awkward moment when you're leaving the most attractive guy you've ever been with and you're trying not to shit on yourself. Fucking welcome to my life
Randomize
