Your lack of dick hurts my anus. I hate your loverboy tactics.
My drunk dialing habit needs to go. My drunk habit can stay though.
I was able to overlook the Affliction tee until he took it off and there was another tattooed on his body.
Was it at least attractive minus the Gargoyles or skulls... or whatever affliction is putting out these days?
Even a greek god couldn't pull it off. Told him I like Ed Hardy Better. Death Before Dishonor, baby. I'm sure it was a painful blow. hopefully he understands sarcasm.
she's crying and begging for her chapstick and insisting on walking home...her every thursday ritual
i think this is the gayest thing you've ever shown me. and i'm pretty sure you've sent me pictures of a dude sticking his dick in a horse's nose.
DUDE EDDIE MURPHY JUST DID A BODY SHOT OFF A HOOKER. IM NEVER COMING HOME
rolling absolute tits, turn on the red lights for when i get home.
Using the only finger i can move, i calculated body mass, intake and time. It's mathematically impossible for me to still have this hangover at 9pm. I passed out at 8pm last night. Fuck vodka.
Me and Jason had to grab your legs and arms and drag you in the house. You kept screaming "leave me for dead"
You know that feeling when you wake up and your whole body just smells like a penis?
I just had sex with the kid I walked next to at my first holy communion
Pretty sure I scared her away last night by putting a vodka tampon in my ass
He's asking how tall I am he wants to make a body suit out of me
It's official! Naked girl is back and making stir fry. Still not sure she realizes we can see her whole apartment from our balcony. Cheap beer and a show.
It's all fun and games until your mom recognizes your bootycall from 2018 as her attorney
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