Drunk x Brooklyn = problems getting home. If I don't make it you can have my computer and my bitches. You're welcome.
Did you put 9lbs of birdseed all over my car?
You weighed it?
I realized that I've made out with a different boy almost every time we've gone to mcgoreys....I don't need a boyfriend...I have that bar
i wouldn't be half as slutty if there were better things to do.
I'm stoned in an empty parking lot listening to dave matthews while looking for a lighter.... I feel like I sent this 7 years ago.
all i could think was her face looked like a farm accident
Chelsea passed out in the kiddie pool. Just added around 28 boxes of jello powder. Will let you know how it works out
could you clean the juice and feathers off my bed I'm just not up for hangover cleaning.
Look at my eyebrows in this pic! We deffo need to go back to that waxing place.
You have a cock in one hand and a shot in the other. Your eyebrows are not the topic in need of discussion.
I will never in my life forget you letting the cat lick your tongue
I'm at a new rock bottom. Malibu on ice at work because it's the only thing they've got and no mixers.
Hey I can officially say I made out with a drug lord.
My vagina feels like a chupacabra ripped me apart using its mythological set of needle pointed teeth
I cannot believe I am seriously having a conversation about my best friend's sexual prowess as a dream lesbian.
I've got two reasons for you to come over later and one of them is pierced.
Randomize
