Friends are holding an intervention and have no idea this gatorade is half vodka. This is gonna be the best intervention ever.
I don't even know what he looks like, all i've seen of him is his dick
the rest of him looks just as crooked
never let anyone you met on skype borrow your car. lesson learned.
I didn't black out, the guy in the Men In Black costume erased my memory
Did he make you just lay your head next to his cock and talk to it again?
i keep looking at my boobs and it just baffles me how he could give this up.
Blew a line and having a jolly rancher... the day is looking up.
most of the afternoon was spent sneaking around my house and alternating which bathrrom to throw up in.
How do you feel? I threw up in a towel. Also, a lot of other things.
Just picked up an ounce of keif and if it goes to waste before the world ends I'm gonna haunt the shit out of somebody when we all die.
He walked straight into the wall, said "excuse me ma'am" and continued back to his dorm room.
Mistakes were made. Hot mistakes that I want to make again. But tapping your employee is def a mistake. Esp in front of two other employees.
I can't. Currently naked covered in Nair trying desperately to catch his cat that rubbed up on my leg.
I hate that cat.
You've got to be fucking kidding me. Do you think "Husband drunkenly pees all over floors" is reasonable grounds for divorce? So pissed off right now.
Our night has progressed to doing coke off a laundry machine through a parking ticket
Randomize
