We can make salsa ya know, maybe even some hot sauce. That doesn't mean we're married.
why is every porn film shot in the same house? with the same red couch!?!
legit been throwing up since 7am. told my parents the two bowls of puke in my dorm were soup
I think im drinking tonight later on...which is good cuz i walked pass the liquor aisle the other day and i swear i heard a kid call me a pussy
You know its a good sign when a girl asks who everyone is AFTER she flashes her tits to the room.
Nope she woke up in a hotel room alone on 55th street. A guy in a lamborgini gave her a ride this morning. She was walking barefoot home
Are you sighing at your phone and judging me right now?
Just talked to Kate. She said I called her on Friday night. She said I was crying for 5 minutes because we were parked in front of a fire hydrant.
Well you just missed the ten chi o pledges singing la bamba at our doorstep.
I tried to interpretive dance to Candy Shop to stop the awkwardness.
This hurricane better not stop me from sitting on the stoop thurs & enjoying all the slutty costume walkofshamers
Even his sexts are poetic. He said breasts instead of tits so I'm gonna lock this shit down asap
I don't need inspirational quotes. If I'm going to be motivated, it will be by anger and spite.
the teacher told me he was disappointed and when I asked why he just shook his head. remember that kid that caught us having sex behind the school? pretty sure that was his son.
If you survived your 72 hour masturbation marathon put on some pants and come over. My mom dropped off a lasagna.
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