My toast was "here's to being positive, and testing negative... Cheers!"... after that chick gagged on her shot, everyone knew.... slut.
I think my guts just had a chinese fire drill
wasted. watching meteors, awesome idea i ever had, see 2 for every 1 with ma double vision
It's just like the Real World with babies
Tell her to not eat the pizza she threw up on.
i have rugburns grass stains and some road rash. im an all terrain slut
if you spike my cofee one more time im gona fuck you up. im presenting to the mayor in sevven fucking minuets. fuck you and youir fucking bartending classses i am so fuckign fcked
He just invited me over to bang on a sunday afternoon. If I can make it top the time I went to a strip club on fathers day then I'll consider it a success.
i refuse to be around anyone not wearing a sombrero...its cinco de mayo
Let's just not urinate on things that don't need to be urinated on
This day sucks. I just wanna play ostrich and bury my head in your boobs.
I figure even if it starts out as just sex I can bang him into loving me
He said he'd prefer a photo rather than discuss politics, I sent him a snapchat "conservative shorts 4 conservative man". He said "be liberal"
I told him. He hasn't said anything. Crying and holding cats is probably what is happening.
You remember my neighbor with the perfect ass? It's even better in assless chaps.
Randomize