Apparently mediocre decisions were made last night. I woke up alone in my own bed with my fridge defrosted.
And I didn't go to bed alone. I am buckets of fail.
the best part was when he threw his debit card on the table, looked at everyone and said "turn this into pizza!" It felt like a scene in a 'coming of age' teen comedy.
she was sobbing drunk in the backseat about her dead cat and how the guy in the front seat didn't want to hook up with her
My absolute favorite part of last night was after I puked in the ally, we rounded the corner and you screamed, "she's ok!" and everyone cheered
he needs to stop knowing everyone on campus...it's making cheating on him really difficult.
when you wake up in a apartment hallway wearing someone else's shoes, you can pretty much assume last night was a success.
Gosh, I don't even have that. Let alone someone to tie me up and whip me with Twizzlers.
Anxiously awaiting my period drinking Hershey's syrup from the bottle. Don't judge me
I "liked" his changed relationship status just to show him I'm ok with the fact he found someone not as pretty as me
You know you were way drunk when you wake up at 7 AM halfway on a couch, tangled in a sheet with your shoes still on.
Someone is giving away free yogurt on craigslist. Can I get a ride?
If drinking had a "new high score" I think I hit it this weekend.
Because I'm currently dying, lacking waffles, and vaguely convinced I'm an eagle
I already tell everyone in my office my bf is at the Naval academy. It slipped one time and I can't go back on it now
so i put my jacket on last night that you wore last weekend, and reach inside the pockets and find them full of goldfish...
the snack that smiles back:)
Randomize
