Porn is love you can see.
Once you see the odd facial expressions and noises a guy makes while he is furiously beating off on top of you, it kind of puts things into perspective.
My doctor just informed me that my food allergies qualify me for a medical marijuana license. I get it on Tuesday. It won't help at all, but my life is awesome!
you refused to come out of the bathroom until i asked you in spanish
He kept referring to his penis a his "love gun"
The plants looked thirsty. Growing plants need mimosas too.
my dad just told me he wants a furry wall in the house... i'm proud and concerned
It was everywhere, it looked like he just took the leftovers and threw them around the bathroom... Festively...
I couldnt give him head when all I could hear was his little brother playing the piano and this family singing along to it.
TINY HANDS NOT FOR BUTTHOLES
This is going everywhere on the internet.
Her fucking playlist had randy newman on it. It was like woody was watching the whole time.
Ummmm you know you're drinking vodka out of a Skittles bag, right?
Find a vagina and bring it to me. Like feeding a tiger.
Dude. My tinder just blew up in Seattle. I'm moving here. I don't give a fuck
Just dropped the most perfectly rolled joint into the toilet I just finished taking a shit in, hadn't even had time to flush, 5 second rule?
No!
Randomize
