Come to the Burger King. We're waiting for you.
from all the glitter we used it actually looked like a disco stick
what do people who dont have blackberrys do while they poop?
im going to live freely with my legs opened and my heart closed
You drunk dialed me talking about the stages of mitosis. There is no way you didn't ace your bio final
let's put it this way: i'm gonna stop drinking and get a gym membership. she's that hot
just watched a cripple ollie in his wheelchair to get on to the elevated floor in the bar. I. LOVE. WISCONSIN
some girl at the bar told me my beard would tickle every inch of her body till she joy puked her face off.... that was so random and odd i just had to buy her a drink for having the guts to say it to me. WTF
I choose McDonald's breakfast at 1:28am over sex anytime
your life is not complete until you watch a gaggle of murderous clowns dance to gangnam style.
also, what is the correct term for a shit ton of clowns?
We had sex and then stood naked in his living room eating zucchini bread.
there’s plenty of nice guys out there with good jobs and NO felonies!
We poured all the Fireball on the Slip and Slide and long story short I have two black eyes.
Tequilla is a sneaky bitch ninja that doesn't kick in until you least expect it. Then BAM! You're peeing in unconventional places.
In this house, we have but one simple rule: DONT FUCKIN TOUCH MY STUFF OR I'LL CUT YOUR NECK IN UR SLEEP
Randomize
