Black thong, sheer white shorts not a professional look. This chick has no idea what sunlight makes her outfit look like.
it's kinda bad that we're already planning travel arrangements to his funeral
eggs and jello shots do not qualify as 'brunch'
He will not just "come" out of the closet. He will fall out, 69ing me, with two fingers in his starving asshole, wearing cum splattered lady gaga sunglasses, weeping.
That was the greatest thing i have ever read.
I can feel my moral fiber fraying.
Note to self... Do not stick your head in a can of paint and try to paint the walls green with your hair
Posh spice and Baby spice both in one night. Fantasy complete. God bless halloween.
Weed is now completely legal in Colorado and Washington. I repeat weed is now legal! I'm putting a deposit down on a house as we speak.
ROADTRIP.
Last night at McDonalds, you lied across the counter, pulled up your shirt and yelled "BODY SHOTS"...
What part of drinking with my mom makes you think i'd get naked
All of it
Competitive oral. I'm always telling girls they are only the fourth, maybe third, best blowjob I've had. They go back down with something to prove.
i feel like i am made of mashed potatoes. i love cannabis pills so. fucking. much.
Let's drink tonight I promise I'll make it out of the house
You were more fun when you didn't have morals.
I think the moment she woke up butt naked on a mattress with her phone still on her face was the point she knew last night was fucked up
Randomize
