maybe after you take off her top her face will be hotter
I just saw a girl walk by me wearing a "kiss me I'm pro choice" shirt. Is that a signal for easy access?
thanks. im glad you find me better in your comparison between me and fat girl porn.
so, what part of "he's slept with a guy" do you not understand?
We started a mustache riot at white castle at 4 in the morning. Will explain in detail.
the cops were hovering over him then shinned a flashlight to the floor above ours, then I realized that some fucker jumped from the third story.
fuck our hall.
Dont make this weird.... I was wondering if I could paper mache a few of your dildos this weekend?
I forgot that I thought it would be a good idea to hairspray my toilet seat last night after I took 12 shots of vodka so when I just went to pee, I stuck to the toilet. Never drinking again.
Pretty sure I sang "What Makes You Beautiful" to some random guy in a parking lot last night...
Dying on my bathroom floor at 7 am, I would rather be eaten by a shark right now
grandma made pot brownies .. oh god bless us everyone
I think someone cast a spell on the lazy stoner rich boy stereotype and it came to life and called me.
We broke up. And I told him he better give me my fucking star wars movies tomorrow. Priorities.
I'm way too sober and people are way too heterosexual
Dude, seriously, fucking stop introducing me as "Thomas, with the dick piercing." you are the worst wingman ever.
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