You're the end to all my bad dreams.
Did you have that reoccuring dream about me banging your mom again?
What's the name of that girl you hooked up with? The one that looks like the fire hose sign.
We just described beer as "big boy apple juice" to his 2 year old.
Some guy just stopped me in the bar and asked if I had a shot named after me at another bar called God damn my VaJana hurts? He already knew my name was Jana so I couldn't deny it!
How is it possible that I am in a completely different city, and there are 2 dudes here that I've banged? How????
But please don't judge me if i smell like mustard
pretend your vagina is a choco taco and the guy is someone who really loves choco tacos. let him enjoy the choco taco.
NoShamevember. You game?
The only excuse this guy at the club had for trying to make out with me as soon as I met him was "I AM FROM MEXICOOO"
let me drop the bass on your empty vagina syndrome
I'm taking a dab in mourning of how long its been since I smoked with you guys.
Sorry, I was watching the Olympic story about the Canadian guy and drinking out of the prescription bottle and crying because it was so beautiful.
Sitting in the car eating a bagel. Watching a guy do tai chi in the parking lot. My morning is fabulous
I was drunk, but not drunk enough to forget I had some dude on his knees begging for forgiveness.
I am real keen for none of this to be taken out of context so let’s just shut it down right now
Randomize
