Just saw the homeless asian lady making a hispanic man pull her shopping cart with a harness. I love Boston.
She made fun of how I walked so I announced to her boyfriend that I have cum on her face before.
She pulled a cheeseburger out of her purse. I have missed her so much.
k so who do I think I'm kidding applying to culinary school? I just fucked up a microwaveable pizza
i like that you affectionately refer to him as "creepy" ever time you talk about him
Then, he just started shoving orange pieces in my mouth as a chaser
Then he said something about how from that angle I looked just like his mom.
What can I say? I like my food like I like my women, not entirely fucked by our contemporary world.
She did my hair, then ate me out. Switching teams was an awesome decision.
It's a hurricane, not a zombie apocalypse. WHY DID YOU BUY SHOTGUNS?!?!
do you ever feel so high you're swimming backstroke and then you realize you're still laying in bed on tumblr
My signature move is making guys wonder why they bothered in the first place
Dude, I'm thinking today is Single as Fuck Friday because that's how I'm feeling
You're only young once, and once you get old, you either regret all the sex you had, or you regret not having enough.
I need to get laid. Right now that freshman frat pledge & my Econ professor are the leading candidates
That’s quite a spread
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