We're watching an ocean show on Discovery Channel and drinking every time they say "dolphins." PS. Seals kill birds. Tell all your friends.
is it mean to send ur x his condoms back because they are too small for ur new boyfriend?
i just made a girl do the walk of shame. as a bumblebee. i love halloween.
I wonder what gingers are like in bed...as awkward as their hair or just as unique as it...?
under NO circumstances is it acceptable to fist pump to taylor swift
I bruised his dick. I bruised his dick WITH MY MOUTH!! I've never felt more accomplished.
Just watched a guy fight a garbage can then pee on it, screaming "I told you to listen to me the first time!!" San Francisco, I've missed you.
I just don't know what he sees in my vagina...and that scares me.
I don't think I have but I might've died. If I have then come get me, I'm in the flower bed. And still game.
i have at this current moment imbibed enough alcohol to float immerse or otherwise submerge a goat of respectable size. tequila
I kept calling him escargot instead of Estaban..I don't think that was the wisest choice.
Why do you hate her?
She's dating the best penis that has ever entered my vagina.....
I can't feel the bottom half of my face but i feel like our sex would be amazing
Dude i'm still drunk and i'm feeding a raccoon cereal from my bedroom window
look, bitch. one day when everyone i care about deserts me for my severe moral depravity, you're going to be the only one i have.
i can't wait.
Randomize
