remember that time i ran away from the bar and passed out in a street cot?
neither do i
since when did accompanying a guy to a wedding mean that anal was required that night?
New channing tatum movie.
I'll bring my vibrator.
is it really high of me to have brought my own hot sauce to wendys?
Well if it makes you feel any better I threw up at Roadhouse. And then on the way to the train. And then in a water fountain. And then in a plastic bag on the train.
It was so weird. I had like an out of body experience. I heard the moaning, but I didn't know it was me.
Semen is not good for contacts.
I'm lonelier than Tom Hanks in Cast Away, right meow. Ready to make this bong my Wilson.
Dude you're alone at a bar with a woman, and you're talking about my junk?
I'm gunna send you baby bottles of vodka for those nights when you just give up
I'm tripping balls on ambien right now and I still feel that's a bad idea.
He stumbled out of the bathroom with his pants around his ankles yelling "tie my shooes!"
Just walked by the barren window naked in a family neighborhood. Who needs dignity.
The true debate: do I prioritize going to bed and getting more than six hours of sleep or do I prioritize washing out various grease, leaf bits, and jizz out of my hair
I wonder if the sex shop has any Black Friday deals.
Randomize