Help. Asians are flirting in front of me(773): They speak asian
When I asked if she spit or swallow she replied "I never learned how to spit"
dude, when you're random girl from last night came down the stairs this morning she fell all the way down. I laughed. She just walked out. I hope shes ok. Tell her I give her a 10 for that landing though.
also: i found my "nug jug", actually the baby did, but either way it got returned to its rightful owner
Some guy just bought a handle of cuervo, a curling iron, and a power drill. Paid with a jar of change. I'm torn between avoiding him and befriending him..
Dude, it's not gay. It's winter.
For thanksgving we are only drinking wild turkey for the next 24hrs time to strap your balls back on and maybe a helmet
Ps we bought 8 pellet guns just now
This is a mass text. First one to reply gets head.
Before anyone claims this, this chick is in my boyfriend's phone as "Worst BJ EVER!"
Does that mean you're calling dibs or can I?
God this is like a meg Ryan movie without the restaurant orgasms
Drowning in science and also vodka. Hope you're having fun.
He found his first fuckbuddy I'm so proud I feel like making him a card or something
I'm serious-it was like trying to deep-throat a minivan.
Timehop reminded me that 4 years ago today I helped a one armed man do the YMCA by being his other arm.
Hey I know we haven't talked in a while, but I wanted to thank you for those m&ms you bought me for Christmas. Sorry I never got you anything then broke up with you.
What does "mood AF" mean?
Mood as fuck.
Why did you comment that on a video of a gorilla throwing its own shit?
Randomize
