Are you drinking alone?
no, i'm watching house
That doesn't count.
wtf, then i'm always alone
i dunno what you eat but your cum is all over my underwear and it smells like pretzels
Ill bet we could have atleast fucked a girl who fucked a guy who has fucked tara reid. That's a famous circle right?
Okay! I've got my sketchbook, my purse, my coat, and a knife hidden in my cleavage. I'm ready for to meet my blind date~
can we get vodka so I have an excuse for being an emotional wreck
Please tell me there isn't another video of me on the toilet...
Turns out the average person our age has never run from the cops. Life: we're doing it right.
Was I asleep on the ride home?
Yea, then when I tried to hold your head up on a turn, you round house punched me in the face.
she comes in perfect pitch. hook up with more singers.
I enjoy the level of friendship we have achieved until you ask me to determine what may or may not be gentile warts via iphone pic
im glad to be known as "the girl you had sex with on a golf course"
No. I'm sorry but once your "would go gay for" list exceeds five people, you're bi. Get over it.
Why were you twerking to, "The Wheels on the Bus"?
I went to the hospital to have my arm checked out, and they already knew the story. They gave me props for posting photos on facebook before even coming to the hospital.
I'm starting to notice a direct correlation between blackouts and broken bones...
Randomize
