If I say "It's good enough" and I'm not talking about a sandwhich, that's your queue to stop me, you're supposed to be my friend.
i woke up at 5 am and found myself wrapped in christmas lights that were plugged into the wall.
There was a lot of him and a little penis
The beer is more important than you right now.
I'm getting flash backs of last night. They're coming in song form.
BTW waking up to a picture of you taking a shot of what I can only assume was shitty lukewarm liquor out of a blow up dolls butt made my day
Wasn't his fault he kicked a hole in the wall, they should have never tried to give him a bath after tequila.
FUCK... Pulled a chick from the bar went to her house passed out on the shitter. She lives in a house full of girls. They were making poop jokes as i left
I'd risk everything I own for 10 min naked with her, 2 would be sex and the rest me crying like a little girl.
Every little girl dreams of the day when she picks up her fuck buddy because he's drunk at the gay bar again.
The landlord wasn't even off the porch yet and she was packing a bowl, I can't imagine a better best friend
If people had ratings on Tinder I'd give you 5 out of 5 stars.
He makes me want to cheat on my other 3 boyfriends..
I did put on a shirt to start the night, right?
He heard our neighbor’s vibrator through the wall, knocked on her door and now they’re doing it
The blonde?!? That’s just unfair! His penis already has a fairy tale existence
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