your room smells of hookers.
And success
the only thing i knew about you is that u dated jordan and were potentially interested in a threesome
i have it on good authority that she is not as good at giving head as she claims she is
I'm at a party watching some dude try to eat a whole package of Oreos in 5 minutes.
His texts read Like a 15 year olds diary.
Some girl just asked us for directions back to campus. we told her to take the first four lefts. We live on a block. she believed us
I get a nice feeling when i open my fridge and see it filled with thirty beers and half a leftover jimmy johns pickle.
I was chocking and even did the sign for it..And you continued to just laugh
Around noon tomorrow come looking for me. I'll be on Mill wearing whatever clothes I haven't lost yet. DO NOT REPLY. DO NOT ASK QUESTIONS. JUST DO IT.
There will always be a place in my black heart for him because he gave me my first sex-induced orgasm. While you slept on the bunk above.
Its not that it wasnt fun. Its just I got a tooth knocked out and that was my second time being arrested this year
if it looks like there's being an exorcism being performed you know your doing something right.
No. Not going out tonight. No. It's Tuesday. Xanax and Full House Tuesday.
Sitting in my car feasting on the spoils of Taco Bell as Donna Lewis croons "I love you, always forever." A more perfect moment will never exist.
I'm owning this being a social human being thing tonight!
Randomize
