Just saw an old lady trip and stumble. Laughed. Kept Driving. I'm going to hell.
Eww. Jon Gosselin got both his ears pierced.
He looks like a bad one night stand.
She just told me she's too full for a reach-around. Sad.
I have a cup of vodka in my bathroom with a straw in it. Yes, I am ready for this bikini wax.
He's covered in dirt and enchiladas. We're going drinking now.
I HAVE A PRESENT FOR YOU AND ITS NOT MY VAGINA
I just saw a fat chick ask the bartender to top her corona off with grenandine cuz she has a "sweet tooth" no that's diabetes fatty
He passed out again after sex. I've hidden all his clothes. There's no way he is sneaking out in the morning this time!
I just crawled out of bed at 5AM to make her a peanut butter and Nutella sandwich. Somewhere in the distance, I could hear whips cracking.
I don't think people appreciate how hard it is to fuck in a portapotty. Sarah and I had train for that shit.
All I know is I want him to tie me up at least twice a week and I have an overwhelming urge to cook for him. Could this be love? I'm so confused....
Well I met my booty call's parents by accident, so that happened.
Just wiped the ashes off my forehead before he came over to have sex. Definitely going to hell.
I put miralax in my rum/coke. Go hard or go home.
There's a kitten on my face and I'm druuuunk
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