Do you think you have hit the lowest point in your life when you find yourself actually condisering watching the movie "Gigli"?
my new favorite insult= "thundercunt"
I left a bag of circus animal cookies in my car all day. they melted together into on giant cookie. this could either be the best or worst thing ever
drugs are my only escape from this reality. good thing I got it at a discount price last night
I just spent all my babysitting money on red cups and beer.
People still let you watch their kids?
she went to her friend's wedding and caught the bouquet. as the unwilling rebound, can i run away now?
Does anyone know who that girl who fell backwards and broke the shoe rack with her head was?
do you think semen can infect my impacted wisdom tooth
my knee is completely bruised from kneesliding into the bowling ball. bowling for creativity points was a win
I'm on acid right now in three feet of snow. I NEEEED YOOOOUUUU
Well it ended with everyone taking a bite out of a raw potato and a girl crying because her boyfriend wouldn't bring her any grape juice. So yeah...I'd say the night was a success.
They took the TVs out of the gym and the mini-Mart only had 2% milk. 2015 wants me to be fat
She invited us over for cocaine and donuts
Really I don't care what we're doing or watching. Your penis spends way too much time outside of my body.
SOOOOOO I just attempted to go to the gym, hungover. Ended up throwing up in the bathroom. I hope people think I'm just working out really hard
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