Godddamnit i jsu woke up in oharee. My connecxtion left an hro ago. Thosse flight atttendants can DRinK
yeah, we don't understand. the wings losing for guys is like girls finding objects in their body..just weird and sad
what i wouldnt give for a night at orourkes without seeing 3+people ive slept with
i wish there was an iPhone app that lets you write a TeXt LiKe tHiS
dude...come out of the closet already
She just messaged me 19 sad faces.
Medicore although I woke up with the business card of a Turkish lawyer called Mufasa...
The gay bar tender told me I looked like Prince William. And that I needed my balls licked.
I walked home with an awkward asain couple. There was a language barrier but I think we're friends now.
Is "incoherent" a legit goal to strive for tonight? Or should I stay sober enough to fuck who I can?
He just got dropped off drinking a flask, sitting on the handlebars of a chinese delivery man's bike
Tonight's gonna be epic. Did he bring my noodles?
If you die first, I'm going to sleep with a pallbearer at your funeral.
Today marks the 365th consecutive day of jerkin it. I couldn't have done it without you guys. #onlynewyearsresolutionaccomplished
Well that's disappointing. I guess I'll give a lesson on dick-breaking another time then
And I think she just drunkenly ordered an ipad. she said it was so pretty she couldn't keep it "locked up" because an ipad has to be let free.
I have mystery bruises on my right knee, right arm, under my chin, and on my forehead. What the fuck happened last night??
Randomize
