i'd rather walk the sahara in a snuggie with no water than take a bicycle cab
you were convinced campus grass and foliage would give you your daily serving of vegetables to balance out the amount of alcohol you drank.
its no coincidence her full name and "cling" are the same in t9
if my spotter knew I was listening to the Wicked soundtrack on my iPod, I wouldn't even be mad if he dropped the barbell on my throat
My face is bruised from laying on the concrete. NO MORE VODKA!
you were sleeping on the floor, then you woke up and told me you were not comfy enough. You took the carpet in the bathroom put it in the bath and you slept there.
I found this letter on my leg this morning "dear sober self- we are one body now. It's weird but get used to it because it already happened" who the fuck is lionman?
It was that same situation where "cuddling on the floor" was actually just code for "rough shameful hate sex" hahaha.
Dude random question. Where you with me when the vulture got electrocuted from the power lines and fell on the sidewalk in front of us?
Mom got high last night and started crying because she feels bad for Paula Deen. This is my family.
he just kept texting even after we lit his shoelaces on fire. he just calmly walked into the pool... still texting.
I can't even masturbate without crying fuck this break up
I have a strong contender for the new number 1 position for fwb. He met me at the door with pizza and a shot of patron
I would totes reciprocate the nip pic, but I'm sick with a piece of tissue shoved up one of my nostrils and I'm just not feeling that ambitious. Sorry.
New life goal: Sex in a parking lot surrounded by a circle of fire.
Randomize
