i just got cum up my nose. i would have expected more from the captain of the men's lacrosse team
im not gonna bother asking u how it was... we could hear u through the walls
More likely there's a very shell-shocked cat wandering around somewhere, covered in potato peelings
As long as you're naked and covered in glow paint, I'm there.
The "don't get cum on anything" rule also applies to my furniture and scarves
That's not technology. Doesn't count.
All that fucking tequilla made my head feel like it's inside of a body builder's asshole. He's doing squats.
so far, I've observed him try to hit on 3 girls, 1 guy and a bar stool. Humanity is amazing from a sober point of view.
You peed on someones bathroom floor while saying people are rude for not flushing
her tits were more amazing then brown bears with armor and guns that fire bullets of Justice that destroys inequality.
PUT YOUR FRESHLY SHAVED MEXICAN POON ON THAT BEARD. NOW.
I went to a community college and majored in Bad Decisions. I'm not exactly a chick magnet.
I'm sorry I told you to go fuck yourself after you said good morning to me when I was hungover.
He called me 'pal' while complimenting how well I took his load on my face. I've officially been fuckbuddy-zoned.
you know you’re single when you try to cook yourself a nice pasta dinner but you’re too weak to open the container of sauce and theres no one around to help you
Mid thrust, say hold on I need a pic for my friend.
Randomize
