yah I made NO friends last night. at one point i think i replaced talking with spitting
im not sure if this headache is from the car accident or cocaine withdrawl
I can hear my liver begging me not to go out tonight
i know this sounds kinda weird but his cock smelled like fabric softener. it was so refreshing.
Just coat-checked 2 backpacks full of 40's...it was the bouncer's idea.
my mouth is as dry as a post-menopausal camel on antidepressant's vagina.
He ate me out like a beaver on a tree. I've never been so scared in my life
I showed up to a booty-call in my onesie pajamas and rubber boots
New low reached: a cockroach has actually drowned itself in our dirty dishes. We are heathens. Cleaning dance party tonight. No excuses.
Yeah no problem. What are blow job angels for anyways
Would it be sad if I made a blanket fort to get drunk in till the power came back?
He said that he made a girl squirt to the ceiling and I got curious
THERE ARE SO MANY HOT DADS AT WHOLE FOODS
really enjoying the fact I don't remember how the staff party ended. feel like I need to shame drink today
feel at noon?
She then told me, and I quote "I want to send you nudes just to see how you'd react."
Randomize
