I was getting a bj with sports center on in the background
Da na na, na na naa
Dude, I found out the hard way that she wipes back to front. I ate her out and had to throw up.
dude we were making out and she kept singing the americas next top model song. you wanna be on top?
I'm gonna get drunk and through up on the first happy couple I see.
Her friend drew me a diagram of how we could get away with her giving me a blowjob at work.
apparently "preggers as fuck" isn't an appropriate way to describe someone...
Just orgasmed in traffic. Starting to have feelings for my commute.
Second night back. Go to house party and played ring of fire. Me plus five other people completely naked. College wins.. It's going to be a long semester
Just had a memory of you pretending to be a begging dog putting your head on my lap while I fed you. Great night to try a new drug.
First of all, I don't like eggnog. Second of all too much rum is all bad. And thirdly I'm not there to sit in your lap and pretend you are Santa and I've been a bad girl.
All right cuz right now I'm in one of those moods where the shear thought of doing anything more strenuous than making a sandwich has me wanting to curl up in the feeble position and splash around in a puddle of my own tears.
Well I think I made it pretty obvious I wasn't in to it. I was drinking a beer while he was going down in me
If I got paid for every bad decision I've made I would be one rich bitch by now
Does puke ruin car paint? Good thing it's raining.
Somehow, you looked so classy chugging that bottle of wine last night.
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