maybe all of them together would equal one normal sized dick.
I love watching the kids I sold drugs to score touchdowns
I like to think of them as justice herpes. She cheats on me and gets more than she bargained for.
Mom just texted me to see if it was you who was streaking at the Mariner game... Did you accept yet another $1 bet?
I was more than drunk as hell I have rug burn on my elbows from ninja roles on the ground..
I mean you were pretty drunk at one point you asked if we could have a glass of water ready for you in case you choked while bobbing for apples, but you said grape juice was preferable. You can't choke on an apple btw
Very impressive. My GPA is the same amount of orgasms I can offer tonight (valid only tonight): 3.5
I was blowing him while he was singing Happy Birthday to his girlfriend on the phone. I win.
Yeah we were on bar number 7 on our bike trail and you decided to steal my bike and we found you 20 minutes later eating Cheetos in the shallow end of your parents pool
In retrospect i can confidently say that the last two months of our relationship... i was only in it because i didnt wanna lose my list on his netflix account.
I was so close to going to get my nipples pierced with my mom today
Ethically, this is the worst thing I've ever done. Financially, however...
There's a bull to ride and dancing on the bar is encouraged. This is my heaven. And this is why god made leopard tube tops.
I deserve a medal for being woke up at 6am on my day off by your mother asking where your brother is
Guess who won a basket of sex toys in front of his parents, aunts, uncles, sister, and cousin...
Randomize
