I got everything I ever gave her back, every picture, and money for the dog. I didn't want it she brought it all back and gave it to me. clothes jackets, pictures, dried flowers, ear rings, necklace...
Sell it on ebay and let's go to the bar
well i was about to unbutton his pants but then i realized they had an elastic waste-band, so no, that didnt happen
that's the last time we turn jepordy into a drinking game.
I'm sure me singing - rather loudly - "fuck me in the back seat" last night didn't help either.
did you know that my friend knows a guy with 3 balls what the actual fuck
I am his drunk Jesus. I will love him from afar because he's my little lamb
i thought you were just a really comfy body pillow until i sobered up. oops.
I need a nap, Harry Potter movies, and dick in this exact order after work.
$150 and 3 orgasms. Dogsitting is awesome.
I'm developing all these feelings it's disgusting.
I really have to stop going to the movies high. Spending $10 to not know what the fuck is going on is starting to get pricey.
I would ride that face into the sunset
my morning attempts to try to have sex with him was interrupted by the passion of the christ parade going on outside my house
And then you screamed, "I JUST WANNA POUR MAPLE SYRUP ALL OVER HIM AND RAVISH HIS BODY!!"
I have bruises everywhere an I broke the lamp. So ya I'd considerate rough sex.
Randomize
