Running into every girl no one would hook up with here at rick's. Typical.
look mate, i'm pretty sure 14 texts saying "fuck me. fuck me now" more than passes the legal benchmark for consent.
So, I had a dream last night that girls approached guys at the bar and said things like "i would like to pleasure you tonight." No drink buying, no sweet talking or ANYTHING.....it. was. awesome.
We woke up under the ping pong table holding hands.
Am I texting you while being used as a stripper pole by two half-naked women? hint: I am.
He's only a freshman and he needs to expirence shit like that..
YOU would be the Freshman Expirence
You need to stop blackout tweeting at him to have sex with you on the roof of your dorm. He doesn't even have a twitter.
That makes the second boyfriend of hers that I've fucked. I'm gonna start keeping an eye on every guy she even speaks to. Girl is my sexual rabbit's foot.
He is dust bro dust in the wind I waited in this unlocked car long enough.
We invented this drinking game where you pick and random video and drink for every misspelled word in the youtube comments. It did not end well.
We're listening to space jam. This can only be a good omen.
I can affiliate each flavor of Copenhagen to a different one night stand. I really love Texas.
He left his boxers here. Can I keep them and make a shrine or would that be creepy?
They pay me enough to pretend to be either helpful, or heterosexual. If they want both I need one hell of a raise.
Like seriously, I would not be going if there wasn't pizza
Randomize