update: the house isnt on fire anymore, but he is still pissing on all your stuff.
the house was on fire??
shit I thought I told you.
so I woke up without pants, but my cardigan was still on and fully buttoned. curious.
He was like a foghorn with a huge penis.
and I believe it was when I was running to class to take a test still drunk in my Halloween costume that I realized I have reached that point in the semester where I just don't give a flying fuck anymore.
And theres a reasonable expectation that if you're fighting over a pair of yoga pants on the ground at VS someones gonna videotape it
stop calling me dude. finger blasting me officially kills you being able to call me dude.
When exactly does a bender just become a lifestyle?
We just taught the Brazilian how to smoke out of a vuvuzela.
For my birthday I want you to get me in bed with Donald Trump. That is all. You have 3 months
This day took a left turn at "This is your going away party, I got a bunch of blow."
I still have a little drunk in my system
Dentist appt at 2pm get milk poured on my tits by 2am
A marvelous 12 hours
I think I kinda scared him when I tried to wrap his snake around his dick while he was trying to nap.
I visited the library for the first time in my college career tonight and I got laid. I think I'm gonna come back...
I'm going to start talking to Bill again, he has friends with boats which means we'll get to go on boats.
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