You know you think of me naked too
Not since I found Jesus
My parents came down to check and make sure I wasn't into any mischief then proceeded to give me alcohol.
I understand. Hypothetically what should one do after throwing up in the shower?
So after I pop out this baby we need to just go on a monthlong coke binge so I can get skinny again before vegas
Soo I got blood taken today and when the doctor came back with the results she said "you aren't sick but the tests show that you are currently drunk..."
We thought you were crowd-surfing until we realized it was the bouncers throwing you out
I've decided I'm gonna attack people with the toilet plunger.
I want a bunch of melted cheese. or a penis. or a penis covered in melted cheese
This storm betta not fuck with taco tuesday
I hear fucking Christmas music. I'm going to find fucking Santa and tell him to suck a dick and shut up for the next month
I've come to the conclusion all of your awkward and complicated male encounters could easily be intercepted by a man town Yankee candle and a vibrator. Sleep on that tell me your thoughts in the morning. Sweet dreams.
Is it inappropriate to be Drs. Willy Fister and Jess Hewill as a couples costume for Halloween?
Oh we're gynecologists
Aside from the possibility of pregnancy, I'm going to call last night a raging success.
I just remember banging him and then at some point I went and took a shower and went and laid in the closet
It must have been good head...he put down the Xbox controller
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