cant go down on her man, her vagoo reminds me of a face hugger from aliens
Those former-lesbian gone white-trash bars always seem to be your favorite.
he showed me his boner with his cell phone light during the movie.
Its not small because its small, Its small because it was cold outside
And we started making out. She asked me to pick a number between 1 and 10. I said 6. She took me to her room. A few minutes later I wasnt a virgin. DUDE I WAS GOING TO SAY 2.
your ability to fuck hot guys even when you go out in sweats amazes me
please stop yelling "ITS NARNIAAAAAAAAA" out of our window at the lone person walking home in the snow
Can I steal her, take her home, and feed her only vodka?
I am here to underwhelm you with my vagina
Ugh I can't even look at alcohol this weekend, my body needs to heal.
Yeah. Well last night I sold my shoes to a man who I'm pretty sure has a weird foot fetish for $150 cash.
this case of pbr just wont end. i keep finding more.
I just looked down and realized I was walking around in briefs and a ninja turtle shirt; and for a second, I thought I was 8 again... Weird...
One of your 'guests' left her bra in the kitchen.
Dude, does it look like any of the women I bring home wear bras?
Why is this not the first time I’ve seen the mugshot of someone I’ve slept with
Randomize
