Come back if u want to. I'll do some dirty shit to u mamacita.
we made out on top of his cat.
Im not sure if he just tripped or was star gazing, but i gave him head anyway.
So this shipmate of mine somehow managed to throw up in his back pocket.
Just saw 30+ dicks. Explain later.
bad sex. bad bad bad. it was like trying to pick up an overcooked noodle with an empty pringles can. why do these guys always seem to find me?
got one for peeing in public....called the cop a donut dunking communist...should be a fun court appearance
No she probably looked into my aura and saw that my penis would ruin her.
Can I get that on a shirt
I just watched two grown men tickle-fight. Just glorious. No words.
The walk home lasted longer than the sex. He lives in the flat above the bar.
I tried to light my cup as a bong. I'm done drinking
So is the trick to long distance communication to be drunk during phone conversations?
Definitely accidentally brought drugs into Disneyland. Considering using them.
I had sex with two guys in one day. One on my grandma's couch, one on a golf course. This is the greatest post-surgery accomplishment I could ask for.
OF COURSE I FUCKED HIM! Did you not read the part about him having red and green Christmas condoms?
Randomize
