There is something about listening to Patsy Cline while pooping that makes the experience so much better.
I wish i was in the wii world.
there is no way he can be that small
look on the bright side he'll over comepensate
She said she couldnt do it today but shed make it up to me next week
stick it in her butt and if she asks, say that thats what you thought she meant
what happened last night?
u kept telling him to fuck u optimus prime style
that explains why his roommate kept saying autobots roll out this morning as i left
His second form of ID was an emergency room wristband from an hour ago. What the fuck is going on right now
Haha yeah he had an allergic reaction to the alcohol earlier. He thinks that if he only drinks vodka he will be ok...
the moment we started interpretive dancing last night wouldve been a good time to stop drinking.
Jen's arm is stuck between a wall and her bed. She's naked and needs someone to go help her.
Finals are done.. I just wanna get drunk and pretend I'm a seahorse.
I have 4 passes to the spa here, walking around with a robe on and putting cucumber slices on my penis. You guys should come hang out here. It's very relaxing
The guy at the bar repeatedly told us he was an off duty cop from out of town, that to normal people would be the time where you stop asking him to smoke a blunt with us
Buying the inflatable beer pong table for the pool was one of the best investments I've ever made
At least life still wants to fuck me.
Let's get drunk and take out your tonsils tonight
I literally ended up in this basement and was tangoing w my friend and then I peed in a supply closet and had to be put to bed
Randomize
