trent lit his nipple on fire and said "i am the only highlander"
He's telling me stories about how he made out with a 14 yr old when he was 22. I'm going home.
This is why I shouldn't be left alone with liquor and anticipation.
This Casey James character from American Idol is really gonna mess up my sex life.
Or maybe the fact that you know who Casey James is will be what messes up your sex life.
There's an Captain Planet marathon because of Earth Day. I can't NOT turn this into a drinking game.
sometimes you have to go after what you want
true. and i really want to cum
i mean, we fucked on the futon in the garage where his band practices. pretty sure im now obligated to like his band on facebook.
fuck. I just remembered I agreed to let you finger me last night for solely for "scientific purposes"
Stop trying to get a gf and raw dog some forest beasts like sasquatch
Running across campus through Hurricane Sandy while hammered and in a slutty cowgirl costume obviously should be top priority tonight
Bro if you don't text me back I'm gonna send you a picture of my nut sack every ten seconds for the rest of the night. I'm home alone with nothing to do. Don't push me.
Literally, and I mean LITERALLY as in "not to be confused with a casual hyperbole", LITERALLY the day we broke up she slept with 3 different guys that night.
1) It's nice to see that the whole "English Major" thing is upping the quality of your rants 2) Have you considered that your dick was the cork holding her sluttiness in?
I just fell and sprained my ankle in the shower. No, I wasn't having sex. I was doing the time warp. Again.
Its a shame I cant put 'bomb ass head game' on my resume.
It's magical, I'm just dancing. It's like prom but by myself and with less clothes.
Randomize
