I want the hot one, scratch that. anyone.
I'm sorry but all I really read was "my nipples will get hard."
woke up in my one night stand's bed and barfed all over her floor. she came back from the bathroom, looked at the vomit, looked at me and said "normally i'd tell you to clean it and get the fuck out, but i remember the sex was good, so i'll let it go." Score.
I feel like I'm in a bed a bagels and mistakes.
There's a certain level of slut that i can handle.... I think she just broke that scale
the outcome of this sandwich determines whether or not i do anything else with my day..
It's not a good night until someone eats a bagel covered in face mask thinking it's cream cheese
Is 'too horny to study' a good enough medical excuse to not take a final?
My booty call just put me down for a reference for her job at the hospital. What am I supposed to say? She gives great bj's?
Most people would probably take his lack of responses as a queue to stop. But nope, not me. I just keep going. And that's why I don't have a bf, just a little weinered friend
You know, part of me wants to die and the other part of me doesn't want to live
I have never appreciated strippers so much. Ma'am, you are an artist
You rolled onto your side and told me 'this is the recovery position'. That was after you were stoned. You've done this way too much.
If you enjoy dance recitals as much as I do, that's one shitty Father's Day...
This is random but I just wanted to thank you for all the things you taught me sexually in life.
Randomize
