I need like a "Cookong High for Idiots" book. Or a car.
Two girls down stairs, two girls up stairs and....
We've got ourselves a situation
We got blackout for the alumni dinner, and then walked THROUGH the keynote speaker, managing to still say "excuse me".
I just watched a blind kid buy from one of the vending machines on campus...guess there's nothing like a good surprise?
Hes still mad that I left the room mid-hookup to go get a pickle from the fridge.
Although last time you were unsure about someone they flipped a golf cart on me.
you looked at me, pointed to a car and silently said "the elephant parks here".
I just bought $54 in Easter crap to try and blend in the pregnancy test... And FYI, it totally worked.
She keeps asking if I've seen him... For the last time YES... IN MY BED LAST FRIDAY NIGHT AND THEN AGAIN SATURDAY MORNING
No longer is one of my lifelong dreams to ride in a kangaroo pouch. You have eternally ruined that for me. Thank you.
Like, you've got the smoothest dick in the west. Do you moisturize?
Yes I do
Thats just a parental red flag. They have been brainwashed. Lets baptize them into the church of PBR
You throw up behind 1 mannequin and it's world war 3 in forever 21
Is there evidence of another human being getting away with this/ not dying?
Well I just had a flashback of something I did in the 4th grade. Now I can't go back to sleep.
Randomize
