I can get orange kush...
GET IT NOW! WHY IS THERE A DOT DOT DOT?!
I was just on craigslist and saw and ad for a naked yoga instructor. I will no longer be jobless.
she got pretty angry when i tried to superglue her fingers together.
I'd just like to give a shout out to jesus and plan b for making this day possible.
There are too many people on this bus for it to be even REMOTELY okay that I'm wearing a puke covered sweater
they call him Oral-B. enough said
I'm going to superglue stuart's hands into socker boppers
Dude i don't know we had to beg the bouncer to let us in because you were bleeding everywhere and he saw you run into a dumpster
So i think i'm going to frame my summons tickets and give them to dad as a christmas present...
I'm bringing Sergeant Single Slut out this weekend. I hope you're ready for her.
Strip clubs it is bday boy. One condition. I am in full custody of your ID. I plan on being in no condition to coordinate rescue operations and we need to keep casualties to a minimum. You cannot be trusted.
Alright goddamnit. Can I bring my pirate hat?
I insist.
When I was drunk texting him about three ways he seemed more interested in just seeing me. And that's when I knew something was wrong with him
He offered to dress his dick up as Charlie Chaplin to cheer me up.
Keep him.
I'm going to ride your dick until it falls off. That horny.
I'm equal parts terrified and turned on. Come over.
She dropped the call after she told me she doesn't want to hear about how loud he can scream.
Randomize