There's a technique?! I just slide my tongue around
My brother and I both agreed that your boobs are fake.
Sharpest. Poop. Ever.
Someday soon you'll wake up next to a bottle of jameson and a half eaten lean cuisine and then you'll be just like me.
We've got 2 weeks of college left-I want to feel like Gary Busey by graduation.
so apparently I plead the 5th to every question they asked me when they put me under the conscious sedation to set my broken wrist
Due to our sore throats we are now doing bong hits with cranberry juice to sooth it.
I have a cup of vodka in my bathroom with a straw in it. Yes, I am ready for this bikini wax.
if i find out your the one who pierced my belly button im going to fuck your sister again
She alternated between blowing me and feeding me bites of the sandwich she made for me.
I want to wear something that says I'm a lady (but I have condoms!)
Attn every girl I've slept with in the past 26 years of my life. One of you cunts gave me herpes. This is the 4th of 5 group MMS. That's right. It's in the 50s. There are two girls I don't have #s for. One was on a cruise and the other was a prostitute in Amsterdam. So which of you has herpes?
The only responsible thing ive done in vegas is shower and that was onky to clean vomit off me
Is the mullet a good, great, or horrible idea before we leave for college
Don't worry about it too much, but I just committed us to possibly raising a kid
Randomize
