i'm going to rape that little man
omg not your brother
We need to find a way to make penises more like hookahs.
She turned over and said "You smell like my dad, i just can't do this"
spending the week with her family was quite possibly the longest ive ever gone without having a boner
its always fun the next morning to look around the room and see where all the clothing landed.
I'm full of awesome ideas
Yesss you are. Im full of confusion. I keep finding peanut butter on my legs...
Then they all walked away with the drinks I bought them, and the fat one slapped me in the face. I left and my car had been towed. Worst night ever.
i jsut feel off the bus, but its ok the driver let me back on. a woman hid her baby from me..
she let a homeless guy feel her up so she could go for a ride in his shopping cart
EVERY guy that's EVER been in my vagina has texted me tonight for a booty call. Narrow it down to the greatest hits or just work in timeline order?
Call me old-fashioned, but I don't think the words, "Finger my ass" should find their way into casual conversation.
We're listening to space jam. This can only be a good omen.
MY BRAIN IS OSCILLATING. DOES THAT EVEN MAKE SENSE
This is not a costume party, I'm just wearing fairy wings.
Of course you are.
The doctor basically called me a dirty dick.
Randomize
