his text ended with ... everyone knows dot dot dot equals infer sexy time
somehow you got everyone naked by playing strip rock paper scissors.
you were on all fours yelling at the earth to stop spinning.
i forgot beer had calories. that would explain alot.
on a related note, did you know that the fire alarm in our apartment talks?
St Patricks Day is not the day you decide to have a sober epiphany.
Well I disagree, 3 different men in my bed over my birthday was the perfect way to say goodbye to my childhood innocence
Dong worry about me. I just cashed bottle of wine when I found out he was in town, I'm being dramatic. I'll text you tomorrow when I'm sober and my face stops bleeding
Is it acceptable I'm laying in bed drinking airplane bottles?
In our world? Yes, but I'm disappointed yoiu are wasting airplane bottles. Save them for sneaky occasions
If we laid all the dicks that's have been inside of us end to end it would be as tall as 4 story building. 40 feet of dicks.
I just remember looking over and seeing you on top of him and us high fiving. That's when I knew we'd be perfect roommates
You know what would make the espn body photos even better? If anyone knew who any of those fucking athletes were. That, and maybe not feature Gary Player.
Aaaand the winner of the worst decision of Sunday night goes to me as I pull up to his house in my lingerie.
so my parents definitely heard me when I was cumming last night...
Didn't think I'd be dancing with the Power Rangers but here I am
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