god I hate her. why can't she just fuck and leave like a normal slut.
We can get Dustin to help us. I think he'd be good at luring girls into a dark alley.
I felt like I was in a real life creepy Myspace message. "girl u cute" ... "girl u got a really nice smile"
He was streaking. We were hammered. We had roman candles. It only made sense to shoot them at him.
Theres been so much buildup for our genitals to meet, one or both of us is sure to be disappointed.
i bought another $5 worth of vodka. with change. i look like a homeless alcoholic. i need your dino cups or else i'll be forced to make a giant jello bowl shot
I don't know if you remember, but I was only wearing an afghan.
I tried to show my boob for free volcano tacos at taco bell last night. Not boobs. Just boob. The manager wasn't allowing it.
The other. Cat spoke to me and left. This shit is laced
The first cat might save me but they are taking out masks
If life deals in absolutes, the in betweens are the most hairy.... Fortune cookie wisdom from a stoned Megan.
Yeah, tell that to my thumb. Cause it was up my ass all night waiting for you.
I'm surprised I didn't lose anything last night. Except maybe my dignity but other than that we gucci.
WHO TURNS DOWNA FRESHLY WAXED VAGINA IN A MAIDS COSTUME LITERALLY LAYING IN YOUR BED
I told him I just left the convent and really wanted a man. He fell for it. Sure beats telling him I'm a nympho stalker that followed him to the bar when I saw his beard.
Kids music just accidentally came on at this party. I didn't know how many stoners were here until they all sang along.
Randomize
