I just almost got out my car and drop kicked this one chick over parking. Welcome to the first day of spring semester.
they started a semi-successful rumor that toby keith died. who says fraternities don't have goals
swears the blind dude on this train is faking. Every day he stumbles and falls into a different girl's lap and then has to grab her tits to steady himself.
She was crying, alone at a college bar. It would have been rude NOT to try and show my penis to her.
We did naked snow angels in 14 degree weather, you can't tell me you had more liquor at that party
He woke up, got my bottle of water and poured it on me and then went back to sleep. Not really how I want to wake up at 2 a.m.
Are you in a cab?
I'm close- can you order me a bowl of vodka?
Good idea. You gotta take care of your vagina. She takes care of you. Pay it forward.
I think online classes were designed around the concept of day drinking.
I wouldn't even cut tickets or put ppl in jail I'd just hand out punches to the mouth and Liam Neeson throat chops
Is it weird that I noticed my lower half feels strange and then further realized it's bc I'm wearing underwear to bed for the first time in weeks..maybe months?
It's called the dick transitive property. It states if you touch a person whilst they touch a dick, you are also touching said dick.
I feel like she is getting all kinds of bacterial exposure that may otherwise have been avoided had she been wearing pants
Will keep you updated on the sexual orientation of my new guy
So you called me the queen of nudes yesterday and I'm still not sure how I feel about it
Randomize
