we got sick of 7 11 doubles so we made up a game where you just drink when anyone rolls a 5
thats barely a game just flip a coin
should we drink on heads or tails?
there is no way i'm buying plan b and condoms at the same time
no do it! it shows that you acknowledge your mistakes and you are proactively working towards a solution.
Puked in my laptop case in the middle of my nutrition class.
The great thing about skinny blondes is that they're all interchangeable.
I didn't think about how painful the pumpkin seeds coming up the next morning would be. Oh well, I'm good at making pumpkin seeds and that's all that matters.
It's like the god of all feather dusters, but for your vagina
It really is the softest mustache
I'm hiding her cosmo magazine. the only sex tip she needs is to not handcuff her boyfriend to her roommates bed and lose the key
i tried to knight her with my dick. she said it was unromantic. what an ungrateful attitude for a knight.
Two options. One, you listen while I freak out. Two, we have mediocre to awesome car sex and don't talk. Either way, I'll be there by 7
Last night you texted me "tqiirkykbg doe freedom always"... why?
That moment when you realize the hot british guy named rory you drunkenly made out with at a bar is American, is named Tyler, and has a girlfriend.
but, alas, I am not the lady in the streets. I'm simply the freak in the sheets.
We met up and made out in front of an empanada spot, if that's not romance then idk what is.
I know it's 10:30am but Finding Dory starts in an hour, and I have four points of molly. You down?
I use my feet as sexual weapons
Randomize
