The kid that passed out is still in the bathtub filled with ice and the empties
Our new goal for this summer is to fuck so hard we lose his security deposit.
It wasn't a threesome, it was me making out with one while looking at the other one screaming "does this make you jealous?"
They just kept handing me shots and saying welcome to college
all im saying is that if he was a normal person, he would have fucked me by now.
so how does soaking flintstones gummy vitamins in vodka not make perfect sense
I don't know if I have the sustained energy level for partying hard
Not a choice. You are mistaking my comments as options. My statements are facts. This is what is happening.
i just remember explaining why my socks were better than everyone elses.
You can drink as much as you want but it's not gunna make her forehead any smaller
I was hoping it might at least fix her teeth
I just ate a dove chocolate and the wrapper said "chocolate: always your valentine" WHAT KIND OF JACKASS WRITES THESE AND WHY MUST THEY MOCK ME?
Hahahahahahhajahahahahajajjajahjahahajahahajajahahahajjajajahahjajajajajahahahajjjajajaahhahhahahahahahahahaha dominos taxi
Well my sources tell me she just happens to appear in an episode girls gone wild.
I know someone that will spend hours looking for her. He also has many of said movies. And I will do it for free!
He just said his penis sings like Mariah Carey...Im going with drunken.
You came home And decided to make beer battered bacon... That's why there was smoke
I can't believe this. 100 bucks says my Botox lasts longer than their marriage will.
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