happiness is walking an amphibious rodent on a leash
had no condoms so I just made do with an empty doritos bag.
i'm going to be one of those im-wearing-a-shirt-as-a-dress girls today. dont make fun of me, i need laid
too bad being hungover isnt a job. just threw up from 9am to 5pm
Every time she shows up on my newsfeed, I get the taste of tequila in my mouth.
Did you get your crutches off the street sign?
For sure shouldn't do homework after beers and joints. Just cited like 3 sentences at the end with (History, 2013)
i had a tequila and emotion induced one night stand with a random stranger. senior year: infinity me: 0.
Hahahahaha. That's what your stoned ass gets for eating half a bag of processed cheese at 2am.
the conference was great. we had to hide the acid in a planter in front of the department of agriculture though
Every FB picture she has looks like it's from the POV of the guy she's blowing
Have you ever gotten so angry that you stripped in public?
Guess who has two thumbs and broke her boyfriends dick?
I kept falling all over the place and yelled at the bouncer you can't kick me out I'm from Texas.
Go shave, and then go fuck the man
YOU ARE SO CRUDE, I LOVE YOU
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