Vibrating panties would be amazing during this conversation!
The lack of respect you have for your penis baffles me. I'd rather rub my ball sack on public toilet seats than stick my dick in some of those girls.
A simple 'no' would have sufficed
He started making shapes and faces with his cock and balls.... apparently if you wrap the shaft with your balls and turn it 90 degrees to the left it looks like a hamburger
I got a Luke Skywalker costume so I can go do battle with the homeless guy who plays the fiddle dressed as Darth Vader downtown.
Yeah, he said he was getting "welcome back Winnipeg Jets drunk" then puked on his jersey.
Do you think she will like "you don't have to swallow this time" gift certificates for Xmas?
I should start handing out wavers before I have sex with someone. 1. Do you have anything to do tomorrow? 2. Are you ok with sleeping 12 hours from exhaustion. 3. Are you ok with a limp?
This dude has my number from April last year. Drunk me left sober me a puzzle. No confirmation of pants off business
laying on floor next to bathroom with vent on to give myself comfort and remind me that im not going deaf. what did i smoke?
After getting all 4 of my wisdom teeth removed I asked my dentist how much better would I be at head
My alarm went off and I went straight for your dick. That's dedication.
Clearly I was drunk when I met them I gave them a muffin. But they sure remembered me
I gave a handjob to the beat of uptown fuck last night
Everyone is a disappointment when you lose your virginity to nine inches
If he ever pulls my hair again, I'm going to conveniently have lock jaw. Then he can decide whether pain during sex is still fucking appealing.
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