Being a girl sucks.
Being a boyfriend sucks for about a week, too
Was just grinding with my bio TA. She asked why i wasnt studying
she requested me as her brother on facebook.... biggest. letdown. ever.
I don't think the cop knew you were on ecstasy until you asked for a back rub.
I told her that if she blew me I would give her the empty pizza box in the fridge.... Why did she agree?
I mean, I know going to rehab probably didn't make her a lesbian, but I can always hope
I'm pretty sure we scarred one of our coworkers. This is the second time he has caught us both fully undressed and banging at work.
Either he has bad timing or he wants to join.
Dude, you were dipping oreos in vodka and asking people to try it, "It's so good!"
You strapped the bucket of KFC into the carseat and refused to let me drive over 20 miles per hour the whole ride home. That high.
I DID MY EXPERIMENTING. FOUR YEARS OF IT. IN HIGH SCHOOL.
My cast smells like cheese steak rolls
I'm like the big dick whisperer.
And for the record I didn't even have sex last night. I threw up in his toilet and slept in his bed until noon
THERE IS A MAN IN THE BATHROOM IN COLONIAL GARB GET HERE
We gotta locate my vibrators and get them stashed away STAT
Randomize
