She forced me to throw up so it would "rejuvenate" me. It worked and then we took six more shots and did a keg stand. You know what I call that? Friendship.
found used condoms and an omlet in my uggs. I'm disgusted but not surprised.
I'm still in shock that he came by my house for five minutes dropped off a Teddy bear and went to the strip club on valentines day
Then again, I'm single and napping with a stuffed yoda doll...so I'm not the world's authority on shit.
Well I just found the most comfortable way to pass out on my toilet if I ever have to.
Its a good thing to know for upcoming events.
Model at car show < day drinking with your favorite sister. Get your head in the fucking game Christopher.
Either I think of sex like a man, or all the men in Vegas are women.
Just woke up in my fuck buddies bed with, from the looks of her ass and side boob, a girl that is not my fuck buddy. This should be interesting
A guy just grabbed my balls before he shook my hand because he thought he knew me.
So. Somehow managed to fuck my contacts out of my eyes. Didn't know that was even possible.
You know getting black out drunk at a cats birthday party should have been my lowest point drinking wise but some how I feel like last night was some how worse
apparently ive been in a long term relationship for the past 1 1/2 years w/ out knowing
Sorry I drunk. I wouldn’t eat those pancakes. I think I put glitter in them.
I thought this boy told me to choke him, so I went all in. Turns out he really said “stroke.”
Imagine we only get one cock for the rest of your life. I’d pick his dick. That good!
Randomize
