I would fuck her until my dick fell off. then i would fuck her with your dick.
How do I introduce myself to her without coming off as "the guy who jacks-off to her profile pic"?
He's my palate cleanser. He's my mint sorbet. He's my saltine cracker. He's who I fuck between people to make the next one better.
I have teeth marks. Like distinct upper and lower jaw.
Yeah me too. My shoulder looks rabid.
I basically have a picture with a half naked foreign exchange student. He kept screaming rolltide and i felt like a traitor
She bit a glowstick open. Apparently they burn. We bonded while she washed the chemicals out of her mouth as I did double shots of Jager.
I think I'm in love. He's everything I ever wanted for myself, just with a lot more drugs.
Some people say 6pm is too early to get drunk. To them I say this dinner is delicious.
Walked back to my room from the bus last night and all I see is 3 of my friends on the porch chugging whiskey and then throwing up in unison
this dude, we had a connection. he kept smiling at me. it's like he knew i was gonna facebook stalk the fuck out of him
This girl looks like an elf and is obviously on coke. I want to be her.
I threw up off of your balcony and it must have been loud because the dog downstairs went insane.
YO I WASNT TRYING TO MAKE A PASS AT YOU.... Or Jesus
I'm, like, this 🤏🏼 close to buying crocs
And you're also 🤏🏼 to never putting your dick inside me again
You know you're getting old when you pick up hot sorority girls at the bar, and they write down their phone number, and under it 'we're great babysitters!'
Randomize
