So I've been drinking and I told the bf about the gf he almost fell of his chair
New beer pong partner names "Bus Boys" ... We clear tables
Your kinda stuck between a rock and his hard dick on this one..
2 showers later and I'm still finding cum on random body parts of mine
I am not old enough to be running into past fucks at the bank. This is at least a twenty five year old milestone.
I'm confused are we getting high or did someone actually die?
Promise me, at my funeral, you will re-enact our human sledding incident of 2011....you can use my dead body as said sled.
She told me about it right after. She said she was scared I would be disappointed. And I was, but I pretended not to be. Which pretty much sums up our relationship.
She was trying to drink out of the beer bong and she thought it didn't work. Little did she know there was no beer in there. Then she got mad at us. Girls.
id one day like to live in a world full of emotionless and wonderfully fullfilling sex...
She climbed up the stairs with three brownies in one fist, two in the other, and one in her mouth. Also, she opened the bedroom door with her foot. I may be in love.
Like when I see him I look straight through his appearance and just envision a big walking penis.
Mike Pence got the fuck boy eyes though
her idea of a romantic time is a bottle of jager, some Guacamole and chips.
can't go wrong with guac.
The cat likes watching me spank Michael. I don’t know how to feel about this.
Randomize