NEED BACKUP we are in the kitchen arguing about who would win in fight against lil Wayne and snoop dog
Someone wrote that you're a whore in one of the bathroom stalls
I didn't know I was popular enough to be hated. This is awesome
Brickbreaker makes my post drinking poops that much better. Sorry, I had to tell someone who might agree.
you threw up out the window, wiped your face with a twenty dollar bill, and threw that out the window too.
did we at least go back and get it?
how else do you think we got jack in the box...?
You're always adorable, but when you're drunk, you're like Chia Pet adorable.
at one point last night, you were literally auctioning me off. "reeeally drunk hot girl ! we'll start the bidding at an ice cold corona. oh, we have a bidder! do i hear a shot of whiskey? going once, going twice.."
youre welcome
It's ok. Rob's just shotgunning upside down.
But I just had this pork pâté. It was dick grabbing.
i had a tequila and emotion induced one night stand with a random stranger. senior year: infinity me: 0.
Just walked into the library with a case of Strawberitas in hand.. no one said a word.. I think they were just impressed I knew where the library was
I offered to give him "road head" while he played GTA 5. I think he will be more optimistic about date night in the future.
also new logic of mine : I fuck a Scottish kid , Scotland national animal is a Unicorn airgo I've come close to fucking a unicorns descendent, mother always said dreams come true
he literally walked in took a shit and left ringing the 'great service' bell on the way out.
Met the hot new neighbor. She's into country music and giving really good bjs. Latter made up for the former.
You sent me a pic of you peeing in two separate directions
and like half a dozen dick pics
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