these pics are all outta focus - was this what the camera saw? or what your eyes saw?
Just bummed a recreational vicodin off my friend's 40 year old boyfriend & am hoovering a breakfast sammy from costco. And I don't have a boyfriend because why?
Scared. last time someone tried to talk me into they said it tastes like tapioca and i projectiled onto a closed window
come downstairs quick. our boyfriends are having a dance off in nothing but their underwear and shoes. and they have semis too.
halloween costumes for girls are easy, slutty teacher, slutty cop, slutty nurse, etc...
exactly, that's why i want something interesting
slutty neuroscientist?
her orgasm sounded like a fucking walrus crying.
everyone has their kryptonite. mine just happens to be 18 year old blonde girls.
well isn't that the pot calling the kettle a make out whore
They just both started mumbling "i cant go home like this" "it's all over my face" "do you have extra pants?"
He's hungover and at the neighbour's garage sale negotiating a price for a tuba.
'TWAS BUT A GLORIOUS SIGHT. BITCHES.
My vagina feels like a chupacabra ripped me apart using its mythological set of needle pointed teeth
What's the best way to tell someone that I accidentally wound up in a gay harem?
Our house drank 90 beers yesterday afternoon before 8pm so add that to the list
i ran into the Jo the housecleaner earlier this morning. i mentioned i had a little hangover and she asked what the occasion was.. i replied "Tuesday" without thinking. she judged the shit out of me.
Randomize
