The walk of shame is so much worse when you've spent the night third wheeling.
I learned to sign I want to be on you today
Score
Deaf chicks here I come
Literally just as i started to cum the church bells next ot my house began to ring. either it was the most epic timing ever or god was watching and congratulating me
You just projectile vomited on my dad across the table at waffle house.
Do you think he can smell the vodka?
He yelled IN THE FACE!! while cumming on my face.
I went outside for a smoke at 4 and things seemed normal. It's 6 now and the front lawn is COVERED in tortilla chips. WTF?
She just had to change the song on the radio cause I was tap dancing on her windshield
He left his shoes, boxers and socks at my house & managed to walk home to his dorm without realizing anything was missing until 3 days after. That's the last time i'll ever hook up with a freshman.
But he's not just anonymous male genitalia anymore. I've met him, I've seen his face.
So, I'm drinking, and I put my head down in the table. The cat jumped up to check on me, I have a cat sober monitor.
ok. i'm ready for you to come back and test the structural integrity of this futon.
Future roommate keeps sending me pictures of cool shit she has for our dorm and I'm just like "... I have a set of Aggie wine glasses a great set of tits."
Dude she smelled like bar-b-que sauce. I can't think of anything better.
i was asked to be gay of honor by three different girls and NONE of the groomsmen at any of the weddings is open to experimenting. i mean whats the point then.
he took a fucking pitcher of koolaid and vodka to the bath with him... i wake up from my blackout to his roomate screaming cause he spilled it and passed out in the middle of a blood red tub. she thought he killed himself. jesus christ its only the first day of break and i already regret coming home
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