I have been thinking about it and I am really glad we decided to order helmets.
I told him I wanted to have sex to "halleluiah", he suggested the poke-rap.
Wydf in so deruk i just dowwned a packet if salt waitibg for food at del taco
Dude their dog does tricks for sips of beer. He keeps going up next to people and trying to shake. This is awesome.
Did you sleep with Connor? And who undressed me? There's a picture of two guys peeing out my bedroom window. What happened?
Turns out the guy I peed on gave me a ride back to my dorm this morning.
You are a god.
You know you come from good stock when you can have a family discussion about excuses to scam pain pills from the doctors
My bathing suit kept falling whenever I went under a wave and this kid caught on and kept checking them out so I told him nothing comes free $5 a boob
I deflowered you on valentines day. I AM THE BEST AT ROMANCE. LOVE ME.
So none of you told me my tits were popping out of my shirt for three hours?
We told you. Repeatedly. You said you made it look good.
His new girl is probably classy and boring. I bet she doesn't feed him sour patch kids while she wiggles his weiner.
But Keith is doing MDMA for New Years and he's 39.
Keith has a beautiful 20 year old girlfriend, a good job and a cute puppy. We can't all be Keith.
But I want to be Keith.
my lips are numb and my face feels like a pool. PENGUINSSSSSS
Share, now.
I think I just scared the sex out of my booty call. He saw me at the grocery store using one of those "future mother" parking spots right next to the handicap ones. He just made eye contact and drove off. I regret my laziness.
I'm a teacher who's always telling kids about the importance of due diligence, yet I'm eating an avocado out of a coffee filter because I'm too lazy to wash dishes
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