What do you call a girl with PMS and GPS?
A crazy bitch that WILL find your ass!
its awkward enough using a urinal next to your dad but its worse finding out hes one of the guys who goes no hands and moans it out
he took off his pants and apologized in advance if I thought he was too small.
i have received so many congratulations texts this morning. sleeping with him really was a good decision.
life is sad when you just turned 21 and youre doing late night rogaine runs...
this is random but who was banging in the shower in our condo?
I might have to break the "you stay out of my sister and ill stay out of yours" pact that i have with tim
I will tell my future kids about the time I went to the bar with a stomach virus. Like a champ.
Oh if we have sex in public no one will frown upon it. They will stand and cheer for it
There is nothing quite so pathetic as sitting in bed in your underwear eating easy mac in complete silence, waiting for Netflix to load
He managed to find a wheel chair and a super mario hat, now hes rolling around screaming "real life mario kart!"
i woke up at 4 pm face down on my hardwood living room floor. i would say its a new low but i think I found my new napping spot
When are your genitals available?
One of the finest moments in my life was when I was puking in between my legs as I was shitting, and thought to myself "hmm this shall be called shomiting."
I woke up with your bra on, and some guys boxers. I'm in a random truck, in the middle of nowhere...
Randomize
