I might never shower again without beer.. I might also always drink naked
A shower wasnt enough to wash off the shame but at least it took care off the blood.
he told me i smelled like babies and pine needles and he wanted to bathe with me. new boyfriend is not a keeper
Everything smells like blood and olive oil.
It's all fun and games until some random starts jerking it on the deck.
Not genetic. He's drunk and texted me a dick pic. Not genetic. Thank God!
He just snapchatted me a picture of his cock. The angle makes it look like a freakin skyscraper. Thinking of photoshopping a little monkey on it.
Also, I saved your name as Everclear last night. No idea why I did that.
I wonder if my sister will drive me around while I do bong hits in the back seat..
It's one of those "I can't stand you but we're stuck in the same hotel room tonight so let's fuck until one of us passes out" kind of nights.
he sent a dick pic to my best friends phone for me cause mine died lol pretty sure he was regretting that night outta town.
dude idk where I am. fuckin like. there wheat field and a horizon and shit. I think I got on a bus? some dude named Sam gave me a pamphlet about Jesus.
Brother gave me a harry potter philosophy book for xmas we need to get stoned and talk about this.
You stumbled into the hotel room escorted by security and then went into the bathroom sat by the toilet, threw up for hours while slamming your head on the wall and whimpering "why" over and over.. I went to bed
i woke up with blood and cuts on my face and i don't remember anything after winning four games of beer pong in a row last night. and i'm still drunk.
you are a true champion. bear my children.
Randomize
