piano lessons. No girlfriend. What's up.
he's chasing his jose cuervo with hot tub water
There's a fat drunk walrus bitch here next to me and shes already puked and now falling on herself
OH FUCK NOW HER BOYFRIEND IS MAKING OUT WITH HER VOMIT HOLE
Sounds like a good blink 182 concert...
Your dad needs a mid life crisis affair thing, I could totally be that girl.
Thats why you have fulfilling relationships with nice girls and i have kinky sex with crazies
What would you do if you came home and i was in nothing but the table cloth?
He told me the escort brought him pizza. Can something be sad and awesome at the same time ?
Is it too early to start pregaming for St. Patty's?
He was so high he started playing Twister on the striped rug. Then when we missed midnight he went on a screaming rampage about his New Year's Eve being meaningless. How do you think it went?
I'M TRYING. TO WATCH. PORN. PLS HAVE UR IMPORTANT DISCUSSIONS ELSEWHERE FUCKERS
It began the way the best stories do—with some naïve jackasses in a place they had no business being at.
Today, this cop risk his life to save me from a sink hole but all I could do is laugh, I was so stoned
HANDS OFF UNTIL AFTER I DO BUTT STUFF WITH HIM.
Its official, kitchen-couch is my favorite.
You passed out again didn't you?
its likely that this occurred.
God, I missed his penis.
Randomize
