Earlier, I saw a homeless man that looked like Abe Lincoln, and I just saw a guy walk past wearing crocs and socks. I'm beginning to like this city less and less
i already hear my dad disowning me
THEY SHOULD WARN YOU WHEN THEY MAKE JELLO SHOTS WITH JACK DANIELS!!! THEY SHOULD WARN YOU!!!!!!!
I just smoked a bowl in the dining room and am now drinking a glass of chocolate milk. i can't believe i'm getting paid for this.
should my penis look like a turkey
Guy in the room next to us in the ER is chanting "I'm jeff and I'm drunk". He's trying to get released to finish tailgating for the Iowa game that starts in 9 hours.
So is there some kind of punch card you and I get to use every time we fuck a chick with a cast?
If it makes you feel any better about life I'm wearing yoga pants with granny panties and toms with socks cause fuck my life
Just had a serious discussion with my ex-boyfriend about sexy nurse vs. sexy teacher. So score one for friendship I guess.
can i bring anything?
Any of the following: Sex doll, side dish, fruits/vegetables that look like dildos, beer
is there a theme i should know about?
She doesn't even know his real name...he just keeps calling himself Hans the Third
Also, you should've bet on Team Liver.
We won.
USA USA USA
He's like a unicorn and I just wanna domesticate him
"Accidentally" bump into him after class.
I'm gonna "accidentally" put his dick in my mouth.
He's hot....knda sweaty, drunk smells like feet....but he's hung like a whale....so in other words totally your type
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