So you walked 4 miles to get home but stopped by the store first to get a vegetable tray? How drunk were you?
what part of "i slept with our hot teacher" are you not excited about?!
the part where you beat me to him
fair enough.
First I must say that I am disappointed to learn that you knowingly have trashy friends with whom you've not hooked me up.
HE'S turngign 18teen real soon.k
i should probably stop thinking with my vagina, and start using that $70, 000 education i can't afford. what the fuck.
Who the fuck did i sell my right shoe to last night i need to get that back im not walking with one shoe on
Had to go see my sisters new baby this morn in the clothes I wore to the rave last night. Still drunk. Almost dropped it. I'll be a good aunt right?
I can't tell if I have the Pizza Hut shits or beer shits
I thought I was bad, the girl next to me on the bench was feeding a bush a hamburger and introduced me. Only at lollapalooza.
I know he works a lot but c'mon man. I 69'd you the first week we boned. Put a little effort in. Fuck.
Can we talk about how i drunkenly changed the timezone on my phone last night and just showed up to work an hour early
The tamale guy is fucking with me, I wanna sleep in he wakes me up; early wake-n-bake and he's late and I'm hungry
we bonded over knowing every word to freaky gurl by gucci mane so it’s kinda starting to make sense why I gave him head in his cul de sac
Heels with jeans turned Casual Friday into Casual Sex With My Boss Friday
It’s the biggest dick I’ve ever seen. His IQ drops 25 points when he’s hard because there’s no blood going to his brain
Randomize