your cum blends into my yellow sheets :/
hey got me stoned for the first time when i was 14. there is no bond stronger
until you tell me otherwise ill assume we're playing "cavity search" the homeland security game to spice up our sex life
Bad news is he broke up with me via text message
But the good news is I've returned as mayor of whoreville
she was eating donuts out of the garbage. enough said.
He made me a "booty call of the year" award.
he needs a life. he was like frothing at the mouth to cockblock you
Some old truck driver just made me smell his beard I hope tonight turns out better
I want to get my vag crammed with complete loss of every bit of dignity I have left by this man from every angle on every flat surface that exists. That is all.
Take a shit and have a hit. It's the Sunday Funday Rule.
Hey it's Males-You-Probably-Wish-You-Hadnt-Had-Sex-With Monday. MYPWYHHSWM
I never realized how you can accidentally go home with someone until tequila got involved.
I sense lesbianism
That's a weird power
Dude we need to hang out soon. I'm in the mood to get arrested again.
She just kept screaming and saying "fucking you is like fucking a mountain"
Randomize
